TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004

[Grouch]

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President
John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership.
He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA
spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line
shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
kidnaped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated
teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money
from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!!! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and
asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was
too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself
for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup.
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:
"Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not
what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the
phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man
shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!! In Modesto, CA, Steven
Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America
branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a
gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
(hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella,
located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks,
new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried,
they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very
sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a
nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what
was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect
working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and
down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the
marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up
choking on water, he was laughing so hard. (NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS
TRUE.) Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

[el]

I heard number 8, in those exact same words, around 6 years ago...

[Mr. Top Hat]

el, it was in a darwin awards book. good books, i highly recomend them to anyone that wants to feel better about themselves.

[colorless]

Those are pretty good, I've heard all of them though....I guess that's why it's from 2004.

A few weeks ago I saw them prove #8 on Myth Busters.

[seven11dmd]

colorless, are u serious, what the heck was the myth?!

[Frye]

myth busters is like the best show ever. i want that to be my job

[colorless]

seven11dmd, I don't really recall. It was something like number 8, almost exactly. They just tried to prove if it could have floated and what the speed of the boat would be with the trailer on it. The speed went from 25 with the trailer to 7-8 w/o. Wasn't a great myth, they've done a lot better ones. Plus they could have just asked the guy they got the boat from, b/c he said he saw it happen once anyways. Heh.
Frye, yeah, Myth Buster is a pretty sweet show.

[ZoSo]

[integrity640]

lmao darwin awards theyr the best... and definetly a "see im not as stupid as u think'' kind of thing

[nick]

#2 is teh secks.