Funny Joke of the day

[RxSkater]

Here's your laugh for today...
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last
instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even one
drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two Nuns decide to lock
the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who
is it?," calls one of the Nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the
other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and deciding that no harm
can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," he says, "where do you want the blinds?"

[-=AlexXx=-]

clever clever! haha

[Calskater23]

Touche! Didn't see that coming.

[RxSkater]

My pops sent me this one thought it was good enough to share but not as good as the first one....

The Rancher

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand..
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into town
one Saturday night..

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no
hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of
wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said. Trembling, he did as
she directed... 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so
slowly.

'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly
by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, 'If you
ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'


(P.S. I didn't see that one coming, either.)

[RxSkater]

My pops sent me this one thought it was good enough to share but not as good as the first one....

The Rancher

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand..
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into town
one Saturday night..

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no
hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of
wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said. Trembling, he did as
she directed... 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so
slowly.

'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly
by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, 'If you
ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'


(P.S. I didn't see that one coming, either.)

[RxSkater]

My pops sent me this one thought it was good enough to share but not as good as the first one....

The Rancher

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand..
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into town
one Saturday night..

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no
hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of
wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said. Trembling, he did as
she directed... 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so
slowly.

'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly
by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, 'If you
ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'


(P.S. I didn't see that one coming, either.)

[RxSkater]

My pops sent me this one thought it was good enough to share but not as good as the first one....

The Rancher

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand..
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into town
one Saturday night..

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no
hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of
wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said. Trembling, he did as
she directed... 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so
slowly.

'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly
by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, 'If you
ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'


(P.S. I didn't see that one coming, either.)

[dylo]

which one did your pop send you?

[Guy]

RxSkater, quadruple post.

[Grouch]

The first one was funny, but the 2nd 3rd & 4th were OK.

[joel]

[RxSkater]

hahahaha sorry damn, i did this at school and the comp was slooooowww as shizzle, i didnt even know it did this; MY BAD

uhhhh actually my pops sent me both these jokes, and ensow or anyone wanna delete the last 3 hahaha sorry its not letting me do it idk why

Guy, hahaha

[RxSkater]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply..'

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily..

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30..'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.

Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.

She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.

He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.

He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says..

'I was behind you at
McDonalds.'

[-=AlexXx=-]

[POPTART]

rofl ...

[tjmac]

hahahahahahaha thats great

[Calskater23]