Texts From Last Night

taku · Kickflip Joined: 10 Mar 2007 Posts: 2868 City: Central FL

LOL @ www.textsfromlastnight.com

-Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

-My nipple is on facebook

-I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

-574) I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I last night?

-(419): idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
(248): he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit

WTF

-=AlexXx=- · Posted: Apr 24, 2009 11:24 am Post subject:

haha my fav : (772): Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

edit had to add another LOL

(864): Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to chickity china the chinese chicken you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

Labels: (864)

bmosing · Posted: Apr 24, 2009 11:31 am Post subject:

haha this website is awesome! thanks taku!!!

(717): i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa chickity china the chinese chicken ima damn fool

and this one...
(914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
(773): jesus mom

JamesBoardr · Posted: Apr 24, 2009 11:51 am Post subject:

taku, thanks. love this site. so funny. bookmarked

(619): i miss you so much
(858): i miss you too
(858): oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me

(609): How come twittering sounds sexual?
(267): Because of Bambi.

JeffKnox · Posted: Apr 24, 2009 12:13 pm Post subject:

hahahha

(217): I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

JeffKnox · Posted: Apr 24, 2009 12:24 pm Post subject:

hahaha

(516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
(917): Thats what she said

olyripper · Ollie Joined: 25 Apr 2005 Posts: 55 City: olympia

(786): Thats something to write home to mom about
(305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Labels: (305), (786)

hahaha

TWG · Kickflip Joined: 25 Sep 2006 Posts: 3258

im pretty sure all of these are legit too Smash

mergeleft3 · Backside 180 Joined: 31 Aug 2004 Posts: 673 City: Orlando

I could spend all day on that site

GnarShredd · Backside 180 Joined: 24 Jan 2009 Posts: 1529 City: Seattle

(925): so explain again why im purple
(617): no

KEEF · Pop Shuvit Joined: 25 Oct 2007 Posts: 218 City: orlando

(970): Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
(970): Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

(914): ____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...

(845): I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

(323): i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
(818): she hot?
(323): i don't wanna talk about it

(973): I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

(440): I love you
(720): are you drunk
(440): yes but I def love you, we should get married
(720): But I'm Jewish
(440): embrace Jesus

Kid512 · Posted: Apr 25, 2009 3:03 pm Post subject:

(650): PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
(773): No - puma.

nice.

kornhouse · Posted: Apr 25, 2009 5:31 pm Post subject:

(773): You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina

Hahaha wow.

Calskater23 · Backside 180 Joined: 26 Jun 2007 Posts: 1795 City: FRESNO

(415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

LFArmada · Backside 180 Joined: 05 May 2008 Posts: 631 City: tucson

its a more funny, alcohol inspired version of Fmylife . com

I love it!!

-=AlexXx=- · Posted: May 01, 2009 12:48 am Post subject:

(678): did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
(404): did it work?
(678): nope

best part about that... ive almost done it... minus the rubber band... lol

price.dan · Backside 180 Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 1404 City: Regina

-=AlexXx=-, haha

Rugrat · Pop Shuvit Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 210 City: So. Dak.

(201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shizzle ton of free thc

Steven M · Posted: May 03, 2009 6:50 pm Post subject:

Y'all are missing out, WBer.com .

Also, more funny

-scuba

mr. Blonde · Posted: May 08, 2009 10:19 pm Post subject:

.. . . . .. . I wish I knew about this site before! . . . . . cant stop reading!!! hahahahahaha

(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.