Important Question(s)

jonnyUTAH · Backside 180 Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 1951

Yo…

So some crackhead snuck into my crawlspace and stole my lawn mover this afternoon in broad daylight. FAW-K!!!!

My wife will not let me own a gun – unfortunately! So..the only protection she will allow me to own is a sword. Therefore, my question for you is this…

After work today, do I go buy a large Samurai Sword or one of those midevil Lancelot Swords or a Conan the Barbarian-style sword?? Should I get some ninja stars also for good measures?

My other question is for the folks who live in Vancouver. I am thinking about moving out West. However, I am worried about the property crime there because of all the Meth-heads on the west Coast. Do you see a lot of property crime, and if so, what kind of sword do you recommend for keeping your property safe?

Gnarly Dancer 42 · 360 flip Joined: 21 May 2007 Posts: 5121 City: kalamazoo

get a samuri swoard!

and a machette

jonnyUTAH · Backside 180 Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 1951

Sweet!!! I never thought about a machette......I will see if I can get one. That way, I can also use it to crack coconuts that I buy from the store.

Besides function, I want something that is very intimidating and will frighten the dirty bastards, but also look cool as hell above the fireplace. I may need to buy two. Once for above the fireplace, and one for under the bed for quick access.

Jholiday · Posted: Jul 30, 2007 3:22 pm Post subject:

that or a medevil flail

Mr. Top Hat · Dead Joined: 29 Aug 2004 Posts: 5818

pirate cutlass. im surprised that was even a question.

jonnyUTAH · Backside 180 Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 1951

Interesting.......very interesting.......

My research has shown that a Scimitar might also be a good option.

tad · 360 flip Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 5031

get a walking cane where you twist the handle and a sword comes out.. just act like you're getting the newspaper and mess up anyone you want.

mattttt60 · Backside 180 Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 648 City: 941

go here lots of stuff

http://www.weaponsemporium.com/

jonnyUTAH · Backside 180 Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 1951

EXCELLENT!!

That site is baller! I guess that I will now need a Code Of Chivalry for my house. I am going to work on my code and post it within my house to outline my guiding principles and to ensure that my weapons are only used for good.

I am really liking the Highlander Weaponry and the Forged Battle Axes

Windlipkid · Posted: Jul 30, 2007 4:02 pm Post subject:

Can i move to vancouver with you, i hate living in Nova Scotia makes snowboardiing no fun!
I want Mtns in my backyeard again!

mattttt60 · Backside 180 Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 648 City: 941

http://www.knightsedge.com/skulls-dragons.htm

put some of these around ur house it otta keep ppl away

nick · Posted: Jul 30, 2007 4:53 pm Post subject:

Scimitar or a cutlass for sure.

Me and stu are gonna get swords and learn how to battle with them.

mr robotto · Backside 180 Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 1052

didn't expect that question... get ninja throwing stars (or throwing cards like i have, they're gangsta and will go through someones gut in an instant if thrown correctly)...

should i be laughing?

anyways, machette/samurai sword and once he's hurt on the ground, get those balls hooked to a chain with the spikes and beat him mercilessly... my friends have all this stuff and got it at a flea market when they were like 11 so i'm sure you could get a lot of stuff a BIG discount their

jonnyUTAH · Backside 180 Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 1951

I went with a 5 foot long Samurai Sword. It's not good for close combat, but it will do...

I am working on the code of Chivalry now.

ridehatzic · Posted: Jul 30, 2007 11:37 pm Post subject:

I'd recommend a shoe knife. There's nothing more intimidating then hearing: "stomp, SHING!" .......I'd run.

jhilly8982 · Faceplant Joined: 20 May 2007 Posts: 31

jonnyUTAH, 5 foot long samurai sword? i don't think they exist. also is the sword a full tang (means that the blade goes all the way down through the handle.) if not then you will get 10-15 good swings of open air practice on the sword then it will bend. chances are the sword you bought is for show.

if you paid under 500 for it then it is a replica and not worth a dang. same with all the other weapons you see on the site you bought from....side note a guy with a 2X4 will outlast your "sword"

MrMarbles · Posted: Jul 31, 2007 7:32 am Post subject:

jonnyUTAH · Backside 180 Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 1951

jhilly8982,

Have you never seen Seven Samurai? Look up "Nodachi" or Two-handed "Field Sword." Anything over 3 Shaku......

It is NOT a full tang, and it is made in China, so it's a piece of sha-it. Yes.....it's totally for show, and by show I mean showing it straight into the skull of that f.u.c.k.e.r who stole my mower.

Chances are, I am just going to abuse the hell out of it. For instance, using it to grill meat on the BBQ, changing chanels on the T.V. (similar to a reaching broom), answering the door in the nude with it, slicing open beer cans with it, throwing it like a Javilin, using it as hedge-clippers and a general bush trimmer, chopping firewood ..... you know, good stuff like that.

t-rex · Backside 180 Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 2007 City: Denver

jonnyUTAH, i hear that the cat of 9 tails can kill a man, if he is whipped 40 times... you just gotta make sure that you really wanna kill him. Shocked

if he stole my lawn mower i'd kill him Smash

also, put soap in a tube sock and beat him.... no one likes that Rolling Eyes

PIRATE · Kickflip Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 2651

jonnyUTAH, While this is all fun to talk about and play Makebelieve with i'm going to have to tell you to man up here and purchase a firearm..... Honestly a sword isn't going to do dick compared to a gun. Do i think its a good idea to keep a sword next to the bed Yeah i do, But do i think its even smarter to have a Handgun in the closet as well ? You bet your sweet little ass i do.

so go out and buy yourself a gun that it reliable and good for self defense, I would reckomend a Springfield Model xd 40, or the Taurus 24/7 in a 40 cal. Both guns are nice and reliable as we'll as fun to shoot. Get her to go to the gun range and fire off some rounds i promise you she'll change her mind........ If she doesn't buy it anyway, she'll learn to deal with it just as long as you dont clean it in front of her,

ANd of course she's going to hate guns, She has a vagina, Guns are to vaginas what richard simmons is to Penis's