My Causal Argument Paper on wakeskating.

[Jama]

I am writing a Causal Argument paper for school about our beloved activity.

Here is my introductory paragraph:

The relatively new sport of wakeboarding can be done in lakes, oceans, or any body of water deep enough for a boat to pass through. In this sport, a participant rides a symmetrical board made out of composite material equipped with two rubber bindings bolted on top which hold the rider’s feet. Through the use of a tow rope and handle, the wakeboard is ridden at 20 mph behind a specially designed wakeboard boat. The wakeboard is intended to use the large wake these boats produce as they pass through water as a ramp from which aerial tricks are performed. Now, take these bindings off and what is the wakeboarder left with? A board which is not held to its rider by bindings, but by friction alone. After making this board a little shorter and adding a sort of sandpaper to the top for grip, the wakeboard is now called a wakeskate. The rider of a wakeskate does not need a large, expensive boat that makes a gigantic wake to perform tricks. This is because the tricks performed on a wakeskate can be done in flat water behind anything that will tow it- this includes Jet skies, gas-powered winches, and pontoon boats. Due to a significantly lower cost and an all-around more unrestricted riding experience, the sport wakeskating has evolved from that of wakeboarding.


------Any suggestions you guys have would be great. I'll put the rest on here as it comes.

[Jama]

I know it's daunting, but please read it.

[Gnarly Dancer 42]

if your thesis is "wakeskating is better than wakeboarding" then i would just say that and give the reasons in separte paragraphs later........

[ZoSo]

Skip the whole wakeboard part...it's just filler.

[-=AlexXx=-]

Ya i would suggest not going into such depth with the wakeboarding idea, if the paper is going to about wakeskating. It seems like your introducing wakeboarding and you only talk about wakeskating for merly a few lines.

[Jama]

ZoSo, I really appreciate it dude.

I started by explaining wakeboarding so that my teacher would know what each sport was.

Can you help me transition from wakeboarding to wakeskating in the same paragraph without the use of a question?

Why should I not use the hyphen?

It's for a high school AP class.

And I was hoping my teacher in her watersports ignorance would not realize that wasn't arguable. I was going to try and say later that skateboarders would like to claim that they are the direct influence on wakeskating. I was also going to elaborate later on the freedom as far as tricks go of not being strapped in. Do you think I could maybe make that thesis work?

[ZoSo]

Your introduction shouldn't be long winded...so basically state your thesis and hint at your supporting arguments then get on with it. It should be focused on your topic.

I would use your next paragraph to briefly explain what wakeskating and wakeboarding are and how they differ. You can begin your topic sentence with something like "First one must define wakeboarding, wakeskating and the differences between them." You can transition between the two by saying something like "On the other hand, wakeskating is done one a smaller board..."

Hyphens are more or less informal.

Although you're probably right in assuming your teachers ignorance...but you should never assume anything.

[Jama]

ZoSo, you are being a lifesaver man thanks so much. If you get the chance PMing me your email would be great. I have til Friday, so I could send it to you tomorrow.

I was just going to talk about skateboarder's claim on wakeskating so I could acknowledge the counterargument to my already stated thesis. That way it would hopefully be arguable. I just feel like I have alot more to work with ranting about gas prices and boat costs. I can also say the first pro wakeskaters were former pro wakeboarders.

One more thing for tonight: Is "This is because the tricks performed on a wakeskate can be done in flat water behind anything that will tow it, including jet skies, gas-powered winches, and pontoon boats." a grammatically correct sentence? I keep looking at it, and it's one of those things that is frying my brain. I'm having a mental block about it.

[ZoSo]

It's a borderline run on sentence...and the comma after "tow it" isn't needed...and it is a bit awkward...I'd word it something like:

"Because not all tricks on a wakeskate require a big wake, wakeskaters can use a plethora of vehicles including PWC's, gas powered winches and even pontoon boats."

I'll PM you my email.

[Hunter B.]

"A board which is not held to its rider by bindings, but by friction alone."

Friction doesn't keep you on the board. Balance and gravity do

[ZoSo]

Friction helps you stay on the board...otherwise it would just slide out from under you.

But yes, there are other forces involved as well.

[Hunter B.]

ZoSo, friction is just the grip between two things. It helps with keeping your footing but it has nothing to do with the force that keeps you on the board.

[scott a]

Not to throw a wrench in things here, but I think under the circumstances you might be best off describing things a bit before the thesis. It isn't your typical "intro/thesis, support, support, support, conclusion" cookie cutter type of layout, but given the fact that almost nobody knows what wakeboarding (or wakeskating) is, I think just about any professor would be utterly confused if they ran into your thesis by the middle of the first page. From there, even if you did describe what the sport is all about in the next paragraph, they'll have to reread your thesis again just to make sense of what you're talking about. The point of this is to make the paper easier to read and understand from beginning to end, because the last thing that you want is for your prof to have to re-read something or feel like they have to skip around to make sense of everything. Perhaps the intro can give a short background on the sport and what wakeboarding is, then talk about wakeskating and how it's different, and then (thesis) how it's better/different/whatever.

Good luck with your paper!

[ZoSo]

[Gregeo]

its a good thesis but i would start it over and compare it to skateboarding instead of wakeboarding or at least include skateboarding in there somehow. It would make more sense I think.

I would make the point of how its like skateboarding on water..............

but thats just me

[t-rex]

[Gregeo]

t-Rex, good catch

spelling errors = easy F

[Gregeo]

[Hunter B.]

ZoSo, you don't ride your wakeskate upside down because of the concave. Yes friction helps with grip but it has nothing to do with holding you to the board when it comes to your actual weight on the board.

And it's casual.

[t-rex]

Gregeo, FES!!! i <3 that 70's show!! LOL

gf=girlfriends..
i had the other gf's dress me and teach me about style..